Q.: I did something that has upset my relatives. My mom's brother died at birth. There's no headstone on his grave. When my mom went to get him one, she learned that my great-grandfather's headstone was on top of my uncle's plot.
His spirit has come to me several times in the last two years. I felt that this was a sign to rectify the situation. I bought a headstone for my uncle and moved my great grandfather's headstone to its rightful place. My aunt saw this, was upset, and insisted that it had been right. Though I believe that I did the right thing, my family is unhappy. I know that now he's at peace and so am I! What do you see for this situation?
A.: We must consider messages from Spirit that concern other people than ourselves in a different light. When we deal in the spirit realm, like anything else, ethical considerations are important. The effect of our actions on the living is something we need to consider.
Once we move on to the spiritual plane, earthly problems and concerns no longer affect us. Graves and headstones are for the living, to help them remember those who have passed over, and not for those who have died. Once a person enters the Kingdom of Light, there is no longing and no "death," in the sense that we know it. There is life and light for those in that realm. This concept is hard for us to comprehend, since it isn't visible to many of us.
In this situation, I see your family's anger and displeasure that stems from your actions. They feel hurt that you didn't consult them. They appear very protective about these gravesites and objects of remembrance. They appear to feel as if you bypassed them in a monumental decision.
You've masked your kindness in this situation by overstepping what they deem as the family boundaries. They don't understand that you felt Spirit leading you to assist in this situation. All they see is that you took something upon yourself that wasn't yours to do.
Reconciliation will come when you can show them a letter from the cemetery that explains the correct placement of the graves and headstones. I see that word from the cemetery will help them feel better. It also appears, however, that they will want an apology from you for not including them in this decision.